The Selfishness of Self Preservation

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt full? I’m talking over your head in emotions and thoughts to the point where you feel like you can’t even handle the thought of THINKING anymore? When you’re drowning in a sea of paperwork at your office and facing a week full of booked appointments, while knee deep in chores and tasks at home, with friends and loved ones who are demanding your time and attention. You’re struggling just juggling one task after another and they seem to keep coming nonstop! If anyone knows the feeling of being full, lacking mental capacity to even motivate yourself to complete the tasks at hand, I assure you I’m that person.

Just as our phones and other electronics need to pause, recharge, and reboot to get back on track, so do our brains! It’s important for us to recognize when we are nearing that point, so that we can avoid the overheating meltdown that is inevitable when we don’t give ourselves the breaks we need.

There is nothing wrong with saying “no” to a person who’s seeking your assistance because you‘re all tapped out for the week. And you shouldn’t feel bad about it! It’s perfectly fine to ignore that phone call from a friend who’s calling with her own personal issues; ones you’re just not well enough equipped to give advice on today. I’m sure she would much rather waiting to talk to you, than to have you half heartedly listening to her situation or having a biased opinion on things because of your own personal state of mind in that moment. Go out and enjoy a night alone without feeling bad for not inviting others to join you; sometimes you just need space and peace of mind. Take a trip to the mall and buy yourself a pair of shoes without feeling like you‘re obligated to buy some things for your children or spouse right then, too. You deserve to #TreatYoSelf once in a while without regret.

Oftentimes we feel bad or allow others to guilt trip us when we choose the selfishness of self-preservation. Honestly, though, I am at a stage in my life where it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve gotten to that “meltdown” point once before, and I refuse to go back there again. Any person who loves you will understand and respect the boundaries that you put in place to protect your mind and your personal energy. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to constantly pour into others without recuperating and making sure that we, ourselves, are okay on the back end. But HOW?

You’ve got to recognize the signs and know what types of things trigger you both emotionally and mentally. Make “notes to self” so that as you are pouring out your energy, you are working equally as hard to replenish.

What types of things bring you peace and tranquility? I, personally, enjoy listening to old school music and writing. I enjoy reminiscing on my life through music and movies and viewing the pieces of my past from a different perspective. Sometimes when I feel like I need to reboot, I dive back into the things that remind me of my childhood and make me feel young and fresh, like a kid again. I find myself coloring, doodling, or doing a puzzle just to escape the day. I’ll turn my phone on "do not disturb" mode and dive into a good read through my Kindle app, and by the time I’ve finished I feel anew. My recharge may look different from yours, but you have to find your own niche and what works for your mind, body, and spirit. No one is going to take care of you like YOU will! Selflessness is great and all, but without self preservation, what would you have left to give? I’ll leave you to ponder that.

With love,

Tenacious T